Der "Darüber musste ich lachen"-Thread

[MadlenBella]

 

[Lille]

Anhang anzeigen 235709

So kleine Corgis sind einfach zu niedlich

 

[MadlenBella]

So kleine Corgis sind einfach zu niedlich

Im Ersten Moment denkt man bei dem Bild aber echt: Oh nein, was hat der Zwerg....

 

[Schorschi]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=566282477624961

 

[bxjunkie]

 

[Crabat]

Heute morgen...wir trennen die Hunde ja in unserer Abwesenheit und Barb und Crab schlafen im EG, wir im OG. Ich komme runter und finde Crab auf Ohrenatmung in Barbs Korb. Barb liegt auf dem Boden davor. Der Sack hat heute Nacht das Gitter abmontiert und offensichtlich seinen Chefsessel reaktiviert

 

[toubab]

 

[BabyTyson]

 

[La Traviata]

Die sind so langsam, die bekommen nicht mal ihren Aprilscherz rechtzeitig fertig

 

[wilmaa]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=4499207310126424

Als Maler hat man es auch nicht leicht. Sprache definitiv nicht jugendfrei..

 

[Parsonfan]

 

[bxjunkie]

 

[Romashka]

 

[Romashka]

 

[bxjunkie]

 

[toubab]

Most of generation of 60+ were HOME SCHOOLED in many ways (but we didn't

notice it at the time!).



1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL .

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My father taught me LOGIC .

" Because I said so, that's why ."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My father taught me IRONY .

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .

"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"

18 . My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My father taught me HUMOUR .

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .

" When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

This should be sent only to the over-60 crowd because the younger ones would unlikely believe we truly were told these "EXACT" words by our parents…

Virus-free.

 

[lektoratte]

Meine Eltern waren wohl spät dran...

 

[sleepy]

Most of generation of 60+ were HOME SCHOOLED in many ways (but we didn't

notice it at the time!).



1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL .

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My father taught me LOGIC .

" Because I said so, that's why ."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My father taught me IRONY .

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .

"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"

18 . My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My father taught me HUMOUR .

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .

" When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

This should be sent only to the over-60 crowd because the younger ones would unlikely believe we truly were told these "EXACT" words by our parents…

Virus-free.

Das scheint überall auf der Welt gleich gewesen zu sein.

Und das
>>My mother taught me FORESIGHT .

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."<<

kenne ich auch von meiner Oma und Mutter, erinnert mich aber auch mal wieder an eine meiner liebsten Lieblingskolleginnen, die bei einem Mittagspausengespräch mal völlig entsetzt war, als wir anderen gestanden, daß wir "die Woche über" nie schön die Betten machen - weil ja eh keiner daheim wäre, der das sehen könnte. Morgens Betten aufschlagen, arbeiten gehen, abends grad wieder reinplumpsen, fertig. Die Kollegin fand das ganz schäbig und erzählte uns, daß sie extra den Wecker etwas früher stellt, damit sie noch vor der Arbeit ordentlich die Betten machen kann. Wir: "Warum denn bloß?" Kollegin (ernsthaft...) :"Stellt euch vor, es brennt mal und die Feuerwehr kommt ins Haus und dann sind die Betten nicht gemacht."

 

[embrujo]

Das scheint überall auf der Welt gleich gewesen zu sein.

Und das
>>My mother taught me FORESIGHT .

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."<<

kenne ich auch von meiner Oma und Mutter, erinnert mich aber auch mal wieder an eine meiner liebsten Lieblingskolleginnen, die bei einem Mittagspausengespräch mal völlig entsetzt war, als wir anderen gestanden, daß wir "die Woche über" nie schön die Betten machen - weil ja eh keiner daheim wäre, der das sehen könnte. Morgens Betten aufschlagen, arbeiten gehen, abends grad wieder reinplumpsen, fertig. Die Kollegin fand das ganz schäbig und erzählte uns, daß sie extra den Wecker etwas früher stellt, damit sie noch vor der Arbeit ordentlich die Betten machen kann. Wir: "Warum denn bloß?" Kollegin (ernsthaft...) :"Stellt euch vor, es brennt mal und die Feuerwehr kommt ins Haus und dann sind die Betten nicht gemacht."

Getopt von dem Zusatz: “Was sollen die denn dann denken“.

 

[toubab]

Meine tochter ist mal mit dem mofa, buchstäblich, auf die fresse geflogen, u.a. zähne abgebrochen, durch die lippe( integralhelm hing am lenkrad)

im spital wurde sie abgecheckt, sie konnte kaum reden, sagte nur: hie wurd nix jenäht! Ihre jeans hat sie anbehalten, der arzt fragt ob sonnst noch irgendwo verletzungen sind. Nei, awwes i odnung.

kommen wir nach hause, sie zieht den jeans aus: ein klaffende wunde über den hüftknochen, sicher 7 cm lang, ich: herrgott, muss ich jetzt wieder zurück ins spital zum nähen lassen? Hie wurd nix jenäht. Warum hast du nichts gesagt? I hawe löche in die underhosen....