So, ich habe mir jetzt mal so die verschiedenen Beiträge zu meinem "post" durchgelesen und einige haben mich wirklich betroffen gemacht. Auf der einen Seite gibt es viele die die Menschen verstehen die den Freitod wählen, auf der anderen Seite gibt es welche die diese Menschen verachten. Es ist schwer darauf wirklich etwas richtiges zu schreiben, ich wollte einfach mal so die Meinung der verschiedenen Mitglieder zu diesem Thema hören weil es mich in letzter Zeit doch sehr beschäftigt hat. Auf er der einen Seite der Tod eines Kollegen beim Tsunami, dann der Tod des Nachbarn meiner Tante der sich erhängte, der Freitod meines Bekannten beschäftigt mich noch immer, ... Es passiert so viel und ich kann es nicht beeinflussen. Ich habe letztens zu diesem Thema bzw. zum Thema "Freundschaft" und "auf andere eingehen" eine Email erhalten, eine Rundmail die nicht unbedingt wahren Gegebenheiten entsprechen mag, aber sie hat mich betroffen gemacht (leider hab ich sie nur in Englisch aber ich stell sie mal rein:
One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my
friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping
him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten
feet from him.
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled
around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks.
They really should get lives.
" He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"
There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never
seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious
muscles with this pile of books everyday! " He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors, we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be
a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be
great!"
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
"Thanks," he said.A s he started his speech,
he cleared his throat, and began
"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through
those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have
to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
"Thankfully, I was saved.
My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy
told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful
smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life
For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some
way.
Look for God in others.
Zu der These: die Leute tun es nur um anderen zu schaden ... dazu kann ich etwas sagen ... ich habs damals auch nicht versucht um anderen zu schaden, die anderen waren mir egal ... ich wollte es damals tun damit die seelischen Schmerzen die ich in mir trug endlich aufhören und ich nicht mehr damit konfrontiert werde was alles war. Als es aber so weit war und ich meinen Entschluss gefasst hatte (ich habe NIEMANDEN davon informiert!!!) habe ich die Notbremse gezogen und bei einem Psychologen angerufen und habe mich mit ihm darüber unterhalten. Lange Sitzungen hatten wir bis das Thema vom Tisch war. Und damals habe ich sicherlich nicht darüber nachgedacht ob ich meiner Familie Schaden zufüge oder ob jemand traurig sein könnte daß ich weg bin, nein, DA ging es mir nur um mich - ohne einen Gedanken an andere zu verschwenden ...
Ich will kein Mitleid oder scharfe Kritik für das was ich geschrieben habe, es ist ein Teil von mir, es ist ein Abschnitt in meinem Leben, er gehört dazu und ich kann ihn nicht rückgängig machen. Und ich habe das nicht gepostet um mich damit irgendwie in den Vordergrund zu spielen, das ist mir absolut unwichtig.
Ich will damit einfach nur zeigen daß ich die Leute die so verzweifelt sind durchaus versehen kann und die sich das Leben sicher nicht nehmen weil sie anderen Schaden wollen. Klar, in dem Moment denken sie nur an sich, sind egoistisch, denken nicht an die Hinterbliebenen bzw. die Menschen die sie lieben und die sie zurücklassen, aber ganz ehrlich? In DEM MOMENT ist es demjenigen EGAL ... so traurig es auch klingen mag und ist.
Nicht weil du balla balla bist,sondern weil ich den Eindruck habe,daß du wirkliche Probleme hast.
